How to Have a Hard Conversation
Conflict is inevitable. Whether in relationship, work, family, it is there.
In times like this, it may be a place where emotions arise. Anger, resentment. Bitterness.
We can find ourselves justified in our feelings, wanting to prove that above all else, I am right, they are wrong.
But ultimately, it’s not a question of who’s right or wrong, but are we are able to reconcile between one another?
“First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
Matthew 5:24 (ESV)
If there’s something going on between you and someone else, God has called us to make things straight between us and that person.
This can bring into play a hard conversation. One that can be blocked by the heat of our feelings, or maybe try and avoid it all together (I have felt both ways)
But in that time, understand that there is importance in having the conversation AND there is a right way to go about it.
Bring it First to God
My one piece of advice to you is to bring it first to God. When I’m frustrated or angry, I will either keep it to myself and let it resonate longer than it needs to in my heart or speak everything in the moment because I think that person is dumb.
This builds up anxiety, resentment, and frustration towards that person or situation. But there is one verse that always reminds me to give it to Him:
“Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
Psalms 55:22 ESV
Casting what you feel, think, and perceive of a person or situation and truly letting God move in it is a harder practice than is said.
It requires humility to let God show you what sin can be hardening your heart
It requires self-control to not act in the moment of what you would say or do as “right”
But God draws near to those who draw near to him. And in this practice you will see 3 significant changes in your heart.
When you let God in, you will see Him:
Change your perspective on the situation/person
Change what you will say
Change how you say it
When you let God in, it opens up your spiritual eyes to see things the way God sees them. Our flesh can disguise the situation and pin us against that person when in reality, our only enemy is the Enemy himself. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ, designed to maintain harmony in the kingdom. The enemy will try and use tension as footholds to create division in a place that God can work and bear fruit and create peace.
Next time you find yourself in the thick of confrontation and a hard conversation, bring this simple practice into play and see how God moves. I promise you, it will do wonders in how you navigate your relationships and trials to come.
Xx,
Jo