Malia’s God Moment
It wasn’t until recently that I had my God moment. Where I knew that my God was my God.
For 18 years, I grew up attending the Catholic Church. It was the same routine: a lot of sitting, a lot of standing, then we received the communion, kneel, sit, and stand some more, and then the mass was done.
I grew so accustomed to this routine and began to dread it, struggling to keep my eyes open. I would leave the mass not being able to recall a single word that was said. I soon began to wonder if God was even real. I drove myself so far away from Him. At the time, I didn’t realize that it was my fault that I couldn’t feel God’s presence anymore.
By God’s grace, He reintroduced me to an old friend of mine who soon became my boyfriend. God used him to plant that seed in my life. Before I became serious about my walk with God, I would occasionally go to a few church events with him. All of the youth and young adults made me feel very welcome, but I kept telling myself not to grow attached because this was my boyfriend’s church and my boyfriend’s friends.
He’d constantly invite me to church, but I would always make excuses. Some of the excuses were true, but the majority of them were because I was scared. Not scared of God or of the people there, but because I genuinely thought, “What if I liked it there?”
In early 2018, I lost my grandmother. It was hard to absorb but there was something, someone tugging at my heart and telling me to go to church that weekend. In my mind, it felt like I would be doing my family a disservice in attending a church that wasn’t what I grew up in.
But I needed to make a choice.
Do I continue to live in fear of what my family might say, or do I listen to God’s whisper and just go?
The first time I attended a service, I felt God tugging at my heart. It was a feeling like no other at the time.
It’s always insane to look back and think: a church where I only attended one service was able to make me feel something and make me feel like I belong, rather than a church I had been attending for the 18 years of my life at the time.
As the months went by, I began to follow the wrong crowd. My idea of a good time went from staying inside to wondering when the next party would be. It was a time where I thought I could let myself loose with good company. Oh, how I was wrong about this thought.
As I approached the end of summer in 2019, I knew in my heart that God was preparing me for something. Something big.
I began to grow distant from my group of friends that I thought would become the ninongs and ninangs of my children.
I got into a fight with my mom over my faith that had me feeling so trapped.
I would spend nights on end crying over what could’ve been. I felt so alone and left out.
This was back when I haven’t been saved, but I found myself calling out to God. I kept asking why He was putting me through this heartache and suffering.
If God didn’t use this moment to have me call out to Him, then I’d still remain friends with these people to this day, practicing the same bad habits.
If God didn’t use this moment to have me call out to Him, I would still have that lingering thought of: how real can He be?
If God didn’t use this moment to have me call out to Him, I would not be who I am today. I would not be in this ministry, typing out my God moment.
Fast forward about a month later, my boyfriend is praying over me in a parking lot in Convoy and I’m fully and whole-heartedly accepting Jesus into my life. Later on that day, we prayed again before we had to part ways and as we held hands, I felt this overwhelming tingling sensation.
That was my God moment. I have never felt so much joy and relief.
“God was telling me “I am here.” All it took was for me to call out his name. ”
Jonah pointed out that my anniversary with my boyfriend is now also my anniversary with the Lord! Ironic, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.