Boundaries: Revisted
Hey BAE’s!
Let’s talk again about a topic that I’m super passionate about: boundaries!
Repeat after me: “Boundaries. Are. Healthy.”
The reason I feel so strongly about this topic is because it corresponds to what I have gone through in the past and it’s a big part of my testimony. Maybe, it will be for you too or it already is!
How to Set Boundaries
The boundaries you set can be dependent on who it is for. Remember, boundaries go both ways and there should be a mutual respect for them regardless if you agree with them.
Reflect
If there is something specific that bothers you in the friendship or relationship, ask yourself why. It could possibly be getting triggered when you’re reminded of past hurt. When laying out boundaries, think of what it is you need to do then how the other person can apply it as well.
Talk About It
Simply, you can’t expect someone to honor your boundaries if they don’t know what they are. This is the time to let yourself be a little more vulnerable. Like I mentioned in the original blog, boundaries help you guard your heart and they’re a way to show love. I encourage you to lay out these boundaries and pray together.
For example: If I am currently stressed and overwhelmed, and I want to vent, I try my best to ask my friend(s) first if they themselves are prepared to take in what I have to say. This allows me to think and pray for what I’m about to say and be in a place to validate not only mine, but my friends’ feelings.
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.”
Matthew 18:20
We’ve been created as relational beings and by allowing God to be at the center of these relationships, it strengthens them even more
***Just a little reminder: people don’t have to agree with your boundaries, but they should learn to respect them***
Stick to it?
It’s okay to slip up from time to time, but don’t let it become a habit. When boundaries are set (let me go back to my gate comparison), like gates, they’ll be prone to weathering and this weakens them unless they are properly maintained.
All relationships go through their ups and downs, and in the process you may cross the line. These situations should always be addressed with the intention to show love and respect. Be sure to stand firm with your boundaries. Consult God with how to move forward if things don’t seem to be working out.
I hope that this was helpful to you all! A book I recommend is Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend if you’d like more insight on this topic!
Praying for and loving you always,
Angeli <3